The phrase..this too shall pass..I have heard it a lot and recently thought a lot about it. I am not a fan for the most part. I guess you can say I am impartial to things staying the same (at least when I am happy). I don't like to mess with things when they are good. Kindof a 'let sleeping dogs lie' more than 'the grass is greener' mentality.
You say those words and I think..my babies growing up..my friends changing..my life getting tosssed around and played with the same way Emmaline plays in her Barbie house. It isn't pretty. Sister Wives would be proud to see how it all goes down!
I am not ready to have it 'pass'. I don't want my babies to be out of diapers. I don't want to be held captive to a public school schedule. I don't want to miss my baby in a shopping cart trying to break out of the worthless strap they place there for safety reasons. I don't want it to pass.
Sure, there are minutes, hours that I think...my back would hurt less if HB was walking and I could just hold his hand instead of carrying him on my hip. But then I would miss those sweet times he puts his sleepy head on my shoulder or buries his face in my neck when he gets that shy smile from someone talking to him. Or those times when Georgia changes her outfits 8 times in one afternoon but I would miss hearing her say "You are the best Mommy I ever had" after I let her get one more swimsuit out!
Even those days when Emmaline is talking so much, endlessly & repetitively, telling me about her day and her every-waking thought..but I DO know, one day, I will be begging, pleading with her to tell me just 1 exciting thing that happened to her at school.
So NO, I don't want this to pass. I don't want to accept the change that is inevitable. I have my days where I feel crazy sometimes..but there is nothing that I would do to change it. If anything I would add to the chaos. Really, just 1 more..don't hate! I actually love going to sleep thankful that I get a new start the next day. Life is just too short to worry about yesterday's mishaps or tomorrow's unknowns. I want to relish the sleepless nights of crying or the accidents at the park. I want to live in the moment and let them get muddy and messy and laugh with them. I want to take a random trip to Sea World because we found a stuffed animal and it reminded us of Shamu. I want to cheer at first steps taken and get to remember how excited we all were when it happened in the bathroom. I want to enjoy watching them do a cartwheel for the 1st time and give their coach high-fives, then remember their sweet smiles when they search for you in the crowd with such immense excitement and pride.
I know that this too shall pass and that what comes next will bring with it another amazing set of triumphs and trials..and it will be exciting and great and heartbreaking and tiring.
But does it have to pass? Cause honestly, I'm not so ready...will I ever be...?
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